I want my fog back

I had a nice hazy fog that clouded my perceptions and colored my world. I want it back, I want that medicated numbness that went with it, too. I want it back, I say! I want a do over, a mulligan, as you will. I want a fresh start, how about time travel. I think I made a terrible mistake in many aspects. The physical pain is still here in my incision, which is slowly healing...but now the emotional pain and anguish has returned a thousandfold thus manifesting itself in cruel, unbearable physical pain. I cry myself to sleep, tears fall on my pillow until I collapse in exhaustion.